27th
Three Years Ago Today: A Timeline
“Three years ago today I got an airplane to go on a first date. We went to Bender’s. I haven’t been on another first date since.”
I didn’t officially find out until April. And not from him, no. Sure I had seen some internet flirting, but I didn’t know about December. I found out at a bar, while he was away, from an aspiring blogger/bartender after my friend. “It’s all over the internet,” she said with a smirk. I stormed out of the bar, and immediately burst into tears. I cried all night. When I woke up the next morning I decided to move to New York.
We decided to take a break in July. This was one month after the Wall-E blow up. One month after he followed me to the Knockout and we cried in a doorway. We decided to take a break, and suddenly there were pictures of her on his blog. In February we started hanging out again. Out of the blue he invited me to see Lolita at a bar. It was the week before Valentine’s Day. The day before VD he spent the night at my house. We had gone to a fancy hotel. Our friends laughed when we made the same hand gestures. We went to the Tenderloin, the bar like a ship. We made out all night. We had sausages for breakfast.
I saw him a few days after I found out. He had just returned from visiting her. He was drunk at a bar. He tried to grab my hand. I pushed it away, cold as ice. We had two choices: drive to Port Costa and stay in the brothel or do mushrooms. We did mushrooms. K&N bickered when the drugs kicked in. I almost got lost in the bathroom sink. We didn’t understand the remotes. We slept on the couch together. We woke up and went to small farmers market. We watched a movie. I went home and cried again.
In May I started packing up for New York. I did not tell my friends I was leaving. I didn’t want him to find out. I imagined him finding out weeks after I arrived. He’d see the photos on Facebook. Somehow it was revenge for not telling me about her.
We were all invited to an open bar event. It was a tech party, so all the boys talked shop. K initiated the H2H. She didn’t want me to hate him. She liked us both the same and it was hard to have us not speaking. We had more free drinks. K said she met her briefly in January. More calculations. Everyone had known.
We went to a fancy hotel, the one with my surname. She told me more about the girl. She was a writer. She was young. She was short. She got the feeling the girl hero worshiped him. We looked over, and he was flirting with the 40 yr olds at the bar. I told her I was leaving in one month. He bought me a fancy drink.
Suddenly we were all very drunk. As were walking away from the hotel he asked if he could spend the night. “I promise I won’t try anything, ” he said. I should have shoved him in a cab, but instead I agreed. We ate pizza over the sink. I blacked out. When I came to my senses, we were in the bath. I freaked out. I confronted him about his girlfriend. I threw him out at 4am. I cried myself to sleep. Three days later he flew to Washington to move her. One month later I boarded a train heading to East.
And that’s my timeline. The one that doesn’t add up to a happy three years ago today. Three years ago today they went on a first date, and never went on another. Three years ago today my world got torn apart, and I never even knew it.
